He has Battled Long and Hard

This is more than I have written other times for a number of reasons. Conan and Gretta are, for the most part, private people. There were many struggles in the past six years that they didn't talk about much and really didn't want to share. And so I tried (and am still trying) to respect that.

Visitors are still welcome -- small groups and for a short time. Sunday, Gretta was in the room when I arrived with Henry. Conan knew right away that Henry was there and reached for him. Henry is too young to understand much of what is going on, but that also means he is not afraid of it. Henry knows that Daddy will not be coming home. We are encouraging him to ask questions and we do not press any long answers on him. (Henry calls the Hospice House Daddy's office -- I suppose hospice and office do sound alike.)

Most people that met Conan didn't know he had such a serious health issue. One of the things he enjoyed most, his time coaching, continued. In the fall of 2008, he coached the HS boys soccer team in the midst of chemo. In 2011 he had surgery in July and was back on the soccer field in about a week. Even in October, less than a week after being told the chemo wasn't working, he traveled with the club soccer team.

But, each surgery has taken a toll on his brain. For the most part, only those with him frequently noticed, but there were little things that indicated brain damage had occurred. Each round of chemo (2 full ones in 2008 and 2011, as well as the partial ones this fall) has damaged his liver and kidneys. It affected his daily health to a degree he rarely shared; he did not want everyone to know just how great a toll this disease had taken.

Conan didn't want his life ruled by cancer and he fought hard to make sure it wasn't. He hid much of his battle from us, but he lived life, doing the things he enjoyed and spending time with the people he loved.